


Crunch Time

by rorywritesstuff



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Cute Kids, M/M, Marriage, Relationship Discussions, Screenplay/Script Format, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:47:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rorywritesstuff/pseuds/rorywritesstuff
Summary: The deadline has come for an important conversation between Billy and Teddy.





	Crunch Time

(Teddy stands onstage. The dinner table is set.)  
TEDDY:  
People have often told me that the story of my relationship with my husband is one of the most romantic they’ve ever heard. We got together when we were sixteen. Sixteen. That’s nuts. Sometimes I think we should get divorced just because it’s that stupid. I don’t mention that to Billy. Secret of a successful marriage: don’t talk about how often you think about divorce.  
(Billy appears onstage.)  
Oh crap, he’s home.  
(Billy sits down at the table.)  
It’s his birthday today. He’s thirty.   
(Billy puts on a paper birthday hat.)  
He’s also a massive dork.   
(Teddy smiles.)  
The problem with being with the same person from when you’re sixteen is that you don’t come into the relationship having had the conversations as everyone else. The marriage one was easy enough because taxes are stupid and the law changed, so why not? But when you’re sixteen, you don’t think about having children. And you don’t think to ask your boyfriend about it. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. It constantly just pops into my head. I know I want to be a father. But I don’t know if Billy does.  
(He looks at Billy for a long moment.)  
I set myself a deadline to ask him. Not this birthday, obviously. That would be cruel. And stressful. And not the day after. I don’t want his thirties to start like that. So, I’ve promised myself that I’ll wait a month. It’s going to be tough, but I’ll do it. For him.  
(He walks over to the table. Billy sees him for the first time.)  
BILLY:  
Hey.  
TEDDY:  
Hey.  
BILLY:  
Thanks for doing all of this.  
(Gestures at the table.)  
TEDDY:  
No problem. How was your day?  
BILLY:  
Well-  
TEDDY:  
I want to be a dad.  
(Pause.)  
BILLY:  
What?  
(Teddy turns to face the audience.)  
TEDDY:  
Change of plans.  
(He turns back to Billy.)  
I want to be a dad. I want kids.  
BILLY:  
Can we eat first?  
TEDDY:  
Billy. I’m being serious.  
BILLY:  
Okay.  
TEDDY:  
Okay as in…  
BILLY:  
I recognise your desire.  
TEDDY:  
You recognise my desire, meaning…  
BILLY:  
You’ve said you want kids.  
TEDDY:  
Do you want kids?  
BILLY:  
I don’t know.  
TEDDY:  
You don’t know?  
BILLY:  
No. What makes you so certain?  
TEDDY:  
I dunno. I see Kate with her kids. She looks so loving and kind and attentive and I just think…I could do way better than that. I want the chance to show other parents who’s boss.  
(He smiles, showing it’s a joke. Billy doesn’t smile.)  
BILLY:  
Is that really the reason?  
TEDDY:  
No.   
(Teddy tries to think why he wants this.)  
It looks fun.  
BILLY:  
No, it doesn’t.  
TEDDY:  
No, it doesn’t; it looks rewarding.  
BILLY:  
Do you feel unrewarded?  
TEDDY:  
I feel like something’s missing.  
BILLY:  
Wow.  
TEDDY:  
You don’t?  
BILLY:  
No. I love my life. It’s so steady. Things are like they always were. Since we were-  
TEDDY:  
Sixteen. That bothers me. I want things to change.   
(Billy looks hurt.)  
But I don’t want you gone from my life.  
BILLY:  
Teddy, I don’t think I want kids.  
(Teddy turns to the audience, tries to think of something to say, but can’t. He turns back to Billy.)  
It’s just not appealing to me.  
TEDDY:  
But what about Kate’s kids?  
BILLY:  
They’re cute and all. But they’re really annoying. They’re always grabbing and crying and moaning.  
TEDDY:  
That’s what kids are like.  
BILLY:  
I know. And when we get home from seeing them, when we can shut the door and not see them anymore, when we can shower and get their handprints off our clothes, when we can just focus on us, I’m relieved. Imagine if they followed us home and we had to deal with that constantly.   
TEDDY:  
But there are good bits, too.  
BILLY:  
I’m sure there are.  
TEDDY:  
So don’t you want the good bits?  
BILLY:  
Can we please just eat? I’m really hungry.  
TEDDY:  
Billy, what about the good bits? What about the hugs and kisses and the first words and just, y’know, shaping a new life. What could be better?  
BILLY:  
Lots of things. Sky diving.  
(Teddy scoffs.)  
Look at Kate. She’s no fun anymore.  
(Teddy turns to the audience.)  
TEDDY:  
I’m gonna tell her he said that. Out of spite.   
BILLY:  
You said it yourself: her whole life’s about her children now.  
TEDDY:  
I meant that as a nice thing.   
(This stuns Billy.)  
She has purpose now.  
BILLY:  
We have purpose.  
(Teddy makes a face.)  
I have purpose. You do too.  
TEDDY:  
Nothing’s changed since we got married.   
BILLY:  
Change and purpose aren’t the same thing.  
TEDDY:  
How else do you measure purpose? If you’re not accomplishing anything?  
BILLY:  
I guess I’m happy with the way things are. That feels like purpose enough. I thought my life was kind of perfect. Or, as close to perfect as I’m likely to get. I met the right guy when I was sixteen, I kept him, and everything else was sort of immaterial. You see, Teddy, you’re enough for me. I guess I’m not enough for you.   
TEDDY:  
Don’t be like that.  
BILLY:  
I don’t mean it to make you feel guilty. It’s just a fact, clearly. You want something else. I don’t. That’s not an insult. It’s just the way things are. I guess, we’re not compatible.  
TEDDY:  
What?  
BILLY:  
Well, it’s not like anyone can say we didn’t give it a good try. Fourteen years.   
TEDDY:  
What are you saying?  
BILLY:  
I’m saying, let’s eat dinner. Because I don’t want to talk about this on my birthday.   
TEDDY:  
And tomorrow?  
BILLY:  
We’ll talk some more.   
TEDDY:  
And the day after tomorrow?  
BILLY:  
Teddy. Please. I’m hungry.  
(Teddy nods.)  
TEDDY:  
Happy birthday, Billy.  
BILLY:  
Thanks, Teddy.  
(They start to eat in silence. Teddy turns to the audience.)  
TEDDY:  
Everyone says it’s the most romantic story they’ve ever heard. Until this part.


End file.
